Do I really need to outline this one? Do I have to say it out loud?

Apparently, yes. Because it happens. So here it is. Do Not: consider this the perfect time, now the pesky husband is dead and out of the way, to make your move and declare your everlasting love. Or bring that crush you’ve been hiding out of the closet. Or your hope for a torrid affair. Whatever’s going through your head—either one of them—keep it to yourself.

There’s several reasons why: (simple decency being one of them, to me the most obvious but let’s explore some more). Yes, she’s lonely and yes, she’s vulnerable and yes, she’s longing for intimacy and affection. But she wants it from the dead guy. Not you. You’re being a jackass. And not jut a little pathetic.

Love can certainly strike at anytime. I won’t deny that it might be the right thing for someone somewhere. Let’s say it’s right for (and I want to be generous here) perhaps 0.05% of the recently widowed population. You think your odds are that good? Seriously? Okay. But go slowly, give it some time—at least a year—and be aware that what you perceive as signals encouraging your advances might just be your misinterpretation of your friend’s profound grief. In that case, you are doing much, much more harm than good. See above: You’re a jackass.